


Home

by unicorndads



Category: Gandrew - Fandom
Genre: Boys In Love, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Jealousy, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Neck Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23540845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicorndads/pseuds/unicorndads
Summary: Andrew realizes he's is in love with Garrett, but is it too late?
Relationships: Andrew Siwicki/Garrett Watts
Comments: 13
Kudos: 81





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song Home by Catie Turner (which is a better Gandrew song than Shyland song, FIGHT ME).
> 
> No disrespect to Garrett or Andrew. I love both of them. They are my dads even if they aren't an irl couple.

__

_I miss you when I least expect it  
I miss the way you feel on my lips  
And I don't know when I'll see you again  
I miss you when I least expect it  
So when are you coming home  
Home  
When are you coming home  
Home_

"We're doing another squad video!"

The excitement that filled Andrew's body quickly dissipated as he remembered that Garrett wasn't a part of Shane's squad anymore. 

"Who's gonna be in it?"

Garrett had begun to distance himself more and more from the group. He didn't really go into detail about why with Andrew, and neither did Shane and the others. They all probably assumed he wouldn't want to hear about it, since his relationship with everyone was as strong as ever.

"Us, obviously, Ryland and Morgan, of course, and Jeffree. I'm trying to convince Trisha to come, too."

Andrew didn't see it as not picking a side, especially since he didn't really know the full story. He knew that sometimes people just drifted apart, and there didn't seem to be bad blood in this situation. Andrew often wished things could go back to the way they were, but he accepted that he would just have to divide his time differently between his friends, old and new. It was easy to do this when he worked for one of them.

"What will we be doing?"

At this point, Andrew didn't know what to expect from Shane. He knew a lot of fans were desperate for the type of content that he uploaded a few years again. Andrew had to admit he felt similarly, though he was proud of all that Shane had accomplished.

"A bit of everything. It's gonna be another travel moment. Jeffree has a contact in Vermont that can get us into a haunted makeup factory!"

Andrew couldn't share Shane's excitement. He hated flying. He also hated the few haunted videos he had worked on. Both things were much easier to swallow when Garrett was there.

"You're doing a haunted series without-?"

Andrew stopped himself. Garrett was rarely mentioned anymore; it was almost taboo now to bring him up. He tried not to let his irritation - about his inability to say Garrett's name as well as Shane's complete disregard for how incomplete this series would be - show on his face. Garrett had been, without a doubt, the driving force behind most of Shane's spooky content. Andrew couldn't imagine doing anything like that again without him.

"So we're actually going in a few days, but I still need to figure out all the details..."

Andrew sighed, resigned to the fact that he would help Shane plan without addressing the elephant, that at least he saw, in the room. He was used to Shane using this diverting tactic to stay away from talking about Garrett. It wouldn't be so bad if every little thing didn't remind him of Garrett; it would be even better if if didn't cause a pang of loss every time. 

Andrew did his best to stifle these thoughts when he was with the others, but he couldn't stop the torrent of feelings and memories when he was alone. One moment that kept replaying over and over in his head was that one drunken night where he and Garrett had kissed. 

They had been spending less and less time together due to Garrett's lack of involvement in Andrew's work and, as of late, probably because of those few minutes of idiocy. Garrett had apologized profusely after, blaming himself, and Andrew did the same. Luckily, they both seemed to be on the same page: it didn't mean anything. Andrew didn't necessarily feel any awkwardness in their interactions now, but the feeling of Garrett's skin seemed to linger in the back of his mind, making it hard to talk with tingling lips.

In the days following Shane's announcement, Andrew didn't see Garrett in person, but they were constantly texting. Whenever he had any down time, his thoughts would turn to Garrett and he would send anything he could think of to hear from him again. Andrew held off on telling him that he was going to Vermont, though. Maybe he didn't want to remind Garrett of what they all had before, or maybe he just didn't want to think about leaving the state without him.

But the night before the flight, while lying in bed, Andrew's thoughts turned once more to Garrett and realization shot through him. He had forgotten to tell him. He needed to let Garrett know so that he wouldn't be confused about his sudden disappearance. He felt his stomach drop as he went to their conversation and saw a new message.

**Hey, are you free tomorrow? I was thinking another movie night!**

Andrew read over Garrett's invitation a couple of times before forcing his fingers to move. He wanted desperately to accept (despite the reminder of what happened during their last movie night), but he had obligations he knew he couldn't get out of.

**I'm sorry, I can't. :(  
Shane's doing a video in Vermont. We're leaving tomorrow.  
*I'm leaving with them**

Andrew grimaced at his poor word choice, and then again at his blatant correction. He saw that Garrett was typing, but he didn't send anything for a sweat-inducingly long time.

**Cool. When will you be back?**

**Unless Shane changes something, I think it's just three days. You know how he is.**

Again, Garrett didn't respond for while.

**Have fun. I'll miss you :.)**

**I'll miss you too.**

Andrew struggled to fall asleep after that. For half of the night, he considered the fact that he always slept better in Garrett's bed, during those nights when he was too drunk or it was too late for him to drive back home. He couldn't quite explain why, just like how he couldn't explain the sudden, aching sense of longing in his heart.

__

_Feelings were fleeting but now I'm surrounded  
Visions of you shaved into the side of my head  
And as I sleep on the other side of the country  
I wonder how it feels to be safe in the palm of your hand  
And I just want to go home  
Home  
I just want to go home  
Home_

This sense of longing only seemed to become greater with every mile further Andrew got from Garrett. The plane ride was the worst part. With every bounce and shift in direction, Andrew could only picture the plane crashing and him dying without telling Garrett goodbye.

Fortunately, they made it to Vermont without any incident. It was fairly late, so the group headed to the hotel and briefly discussed the plan for the next day. Though always an entertaining bunch to be around, Andrew couldn't wait to get away from them to crawl into a bed and sleep. Given he could sleep, of course.

He couldn't, which was a surprise to no one, so he took this time to finally check his messages. There were a handful from Garrett.

**Have a safe flight!  
I would have told you before you were in the air, but you know my sleep schedule lol  
Look at this chip. It looks exactly like baby Yoda  
The airline website says you landed on time. Glad you're safe :)  
I hope you're having fun i miss you**

Andrew felt his heart clench. 

**Thanks Garr. I wish you were here.**

Andrew managed to snag a few hours of sleep before he was woken up. After getting food, the new squad went out to meet up with Jeffree's contact. She seemed like a sweet lady, but she was a little all over the place. It didn't stir a lot of confidence in Andrew, but the others seemed to not care that she sounded like she didn't really know the ghost stories she was trying to tell them. 

Every now and then, Andrew zoned out from her ramblings. His thoughts always ended up gravitating toward Garrett. If he was here, he would have already done the research and would know the history of this factory like the back of his hand.

They didn't step into the factory until it was starting to get dark. Andrew did his best to focus on filming, but it was harder than usual. Not only was he dealing with the fear of being in yet another haunted location, he had to deal with it without Garrett.

As the night progressed, Andrew couldn't help but wonder what would be different if Garrett was with them. He knew that Garrett would stay by his side (when he wasn't distracted) and he would do what he could to make him laugh and feel at ease. At several points, he found himself wishing he was back home with Garrett instead of this creepy factory.

By the time the group was finished, they had gotten a few sort of interesting things from EVP sessions, but other than that, nothing really eventful happened. Andrew was happy with that outcome, and relieved to finally be back in the hotel room.

When checking his messages from the day, Andrew was pleased to see that Garrett had sent him a handful once again. There was nothing out of the ordinary in these texts, but seeing them still made him feel warm inside. 

There were a couple of things that Andrew could have addressed directly, but he ended up sending the one thing that had been weighing on his mind all night:  
**I miss you.**

Andrew stared at his phone for half an hour, waiting for Garrett's reply. None came. He must be busy, or asleep already, even though it was pretty early for him. Feeling pitiful, Andrew whined and tossed his phone away.

He pulled one of the hotel pillows over to his side and wrapped his arms around it. He closed his eyes, imagining the soft item as Garrett's solid chest. It wasn't often that he and Garrett hugged, but every time he felt small and protected. Not that he really realized that until this very moment, but those few moments of contact always made him feel so safe and cared for. He would have given anything to feel Garrett weight resting on his shoulders in this moment. 

And as he started to play the moment of him and Garrett kissing on repeat in his head, an epiphany crashed over him. He was in love with Garrett. He was in love with his best friend. And fuck it, he was going to let him know as soon as he returned home.

__

_I don't take spoonfuls of romanticism in my tea  
But this is not a love song  
It's my truth I have to speak  
Oh, you are so important to me  
And I won't let you go  
I won't let you go_

When Andrew finally returned home the next day, the first place he went was Garrett's place. Garrett was happy to see him, of course, greeting him with a wide grin. After a brief hug, they settled on his couch and smiled at each other, glad to be back in one another's company.

"Well, how was it? What did you do?" Garrett prompted excitedly.

"It was fine. We went to this supposedly haunted makeup factory."

"Oh." The hurt of not being included in something he would have been so interested in was painted plainly on Garrett's face, but he shifted and shook it away. "That's awesome. Did anything spooky happen?"

Andrew watched him with saddened eyes. "Nothing. It was almost a pointless trip."

Garrett shot him a small smile. Suddenly, his phone buzzed. His lips widened even more and he glanced at it. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"No problem. So..." Another buzz. Andrew was grateful that Garrett didn't break their eye contact this time. "While I was there..." Another buzz. "Um, I kind of realized..." Another buzz. Andrew sighed. "Who's that?"

Garrett giggled and looked at his phone again. He started typing. "Um, well, I wanted to wait and tell you in person. The night you left, I actually ended up going on a date. It went really well and we're going on our third date tomorrow."

Andrew was stunned. He turned his head, scratching at the back of his neck; he couldn't let Garrett see the utter disappointment on his face. He didn't want to taint the excitement Garrett was exuding. "Wow, that's amazing, Garr. Third date, huh? He must be pretty special for you to contact him again." He heard the biting tone that slipped out at the end and he quickly added, "I'm so happy for you."

Garrett didn't seem bothered. "Yeah! He's a dream. I've never met anyone like him."

"Mmhmm." Andrew tried his best to listen to Garrett go on and on about this perfect man, but he felt like he was underwater. He felt hopeless and helpless and like there was no point to breathing in this very moment.

"Andrew?" Andrew shook his head, trying to unclog his ears. "Andrew, are you okay?"

Andrew blinked up at Garrett, seeing the concern in his eyes. "Yeah, sorry. I'm just a little... jet-lagged."

"Oh, duh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you up with my ramblings. Why don't we go to bed?"

Andrew felt his stomach twist at those words. They were normal words, but after everything he had learned in the past twenty-four hours, he couldn't help but wish there was more weight to them. "It's early. I doubt you're tired."

"It's okay." Garrett stood up and stretched. Andrew watched his shirt raise, exposing a bit of skin, but quickly averted his gaze. "Let's go?" Andrew couldn't refuse.

When he lied down, Andrew found it annoyingly hard to get comfortable for some reason. After a few moments of shifting and sniffing his suddenly stuffy nose, he soon realized that it was because there was a foreign scent on the pillowcase. "What is that smell?" he grumbled to himself.

Garrett laughed, causing Andrew to jump. "Sorry! And sorry, it's probably-"

"The scent of your new boyfriend," Andrew concluded. He tried not to sound bitter about the fact that Garrett had already brought this man into their bed. Well, _Garrett's_ bed. Andrew had no claim to it, even though he was in it often enough.

Garrett giggled again. "We haven't talked about labels yet, Andrew."

Andrew appreciated the dark as he rolled his eyes. He didn't have anything to add, so he just grunted in response, shifting his entire body once again.

"Do you want to switch sides?" Garrett softly asked a moment later.

Andrew agreed and they both sat up, trying to maneuver around one another. They nearly bumped into each other, but they managed to settle back down, giggling.

The scent of Garrett was a lot stronger on Garrett's side, obviously, but that didn't deter Andrew. In fact, it made it even easier for him to relax. Breathing deeply as he drifted off to sleep, he realized that being in this bed, surrounded by Garrett, felt better than being alone at home.

Soon after he woke up, Andrew left with a promise to come over the next day, since Garrett would be preoccupied later that night. He spent some time editing the videos from the trip, but most of his hours were dedicated to just feeling sorry for himself. What were the chances that Garrett got a boyfriend right when he was starting to realize his own feelings for the man?

After several hours of just moping, Andrew decided to crash early once more. He was getting settled in bed when he his phone buzzed with a message. His heart did a backflip when he read Garrett's name on the screen.

**Do you want to do something tonight?**

**I thought you had a date???**

**That's not happening.**

**I'll be right over**

Andrew rushed to Garrett's place, expecting to find him crying and heartbroken. To his surprise, Garrett answered the door like he would have any other night. Andrew entered the tiny home, confused by the happy chatter coming out of Garrett's mouth. "Wait, are you okay? What happened? I thought you had a date."

"Oh. Everything's fine. Something just came up."

"Who died?"

Garrett laughed, confused. "What?"

"What?" Andrew blinked at Garrett. He tried to come up with another reason that someone would stand Garrett Watts up. He was drawing a blank.

"No, it's nothing that serious," Garrett explained. "He's seeing a movie with some friends."

"Um, what?" Andrew felt his blood begin to boil.

"It's really not a problem."

"Are they friends he hasn't seen in years and they're only here for one day?"

"No."

"Is it the opening night?"

"No."

"Was it planned before you planned your date and he just forgot?"

"No." Garrett shifted uncomfortably.

"So he made other plans knowing he was supposed to be with you tonight?" Andrew asked incredulously. He could tell from Garrett's body language that he should probably drop it, but he couldn't just pretend this was okay.

"I mean-"

"It's a group thing, you said? Why not invite you, too, then?"

"Andrew-"

"That's bullshit." Garrett turned away, giving up on responding. "I'm sorry, Garr, but it was only the third date and he's already not prioritizing you like he should. If it was me-" Garrett glanced back up, his gaze piercing. Andrew swallowed nervously. "Anyway, I'm just saying you deserve better than him."

"Thank you for your input, Andrew. But please stop. I wasn't upset about it before, and I'd like to keep it that way."

Andrew wanted to scream until Garrett saw some inkling of sense, but he realized that continuing to yell would only succeed in making both of them feel worse and might get him kicked out. Andrew took a measured breath. It wasn't really his place, anyway. "I just don't want you to get hurt," he said quietly. "But I trust you. So I'll drop it. I'm sorry."

Garrett smiled gratefully at him. "Thanks, Andrew."

Andrew reached over and gave his shoulder a quick squeeze. "So, what are _we_ watching tonight?"

"I do have a few suggestions to put on the table," Garrett announced happily.

Andrew managed to push his anger to the side as he playfully argued with Garrett about which movie was better and laughed with him all through the night.

In the following weeks, the same scenario played out more than it sound have. Every time, Andrew tried to tell Garrett how shitty it was that this man who supposedly liked him so much apparently didn't give a shit about him, but Garrett would just grow more agitated about the whole thing and refuse to listen. 

And as Garrett continued to praise this man he was apparently madly in love with the rest of the time, Andrew found himself growing more and more cynical. How could Garrett think he was in love with such a self-absorbed asshole? Maybe Andrew just didn't really know what love was. Maybe what he thought he felt for Garrett wasn't real.

But every time he was able to pull a laugh out of Garrett, removing the tinge of sadness behind his eyes, he couldn't help but think maybe love actually did exist. It just wasn't fair.

It didn't take long for Andrew to start feeling like he was going actually insane. These feelings for Garrett seemed to be only getting more intense, despite his best attempts to quell them. He tried to distance himself from Garrett, but he still found himself always at his beck and call. And when Garrett asked if he wanted to finally meet his boyfriend, he could only agree through clenched teeth.

It had been about a month at this point. Garrett was ecstatic; he said that he had been wanting to introduce the two of them for a while. He told Andrew that his boyfriend might even bring a female friend for him. Andrew hoped he didn't.

The plan was for everyone to meet up at Garrett's home the next afternoon and then go out for a nice lunch. Andrew arrived a little more dressed up than usual, though not enough to show that he actually cared that much about meeting this man. 

Garrett answered the door without a word and quickly turned back around, walking away. Andrew followed him, shutting the door. "Hey, am I the first one here?" Garrett stopped in the middle of the living room, but he didn't turn around or respond. "Garr?"

"He cancelled again."

Andrew froze. There was a bitterness in Garrett's voice that he had never heard directed toward his boyfriend before. "Oh. I-I'm so sorry."

"Why am I not good enough?" The words were so quiet, Andrew almost didn't hear them.

When the words registered, Andrew's heart shattered. "Garrett." Garrett still didn't turn around. Andrew approached him slowly. Not knowing what to say, he gently rested a hand on his back. A moment later, he let his head fall forward so that his forehead was pressed in between Garrett's shoulder blades. He didn't think about the implications of this position - he was too focused on comforting his friend. "You are more than good enough."

"I'm not!" Garrett all but roared. "Not for him! Not for-" Garrett stopped. His shoulders started shaking.

Andrew stepped back and took a hold of Garrett's arm, guiding him around to face him. He knew what he would see, but the sight of silent tears streaking down Garrett's cheeks still tugged harshly on his heartstrings. He pulled Garrett into a tight hug, squeezing as hard as his arms would let him.

Garrett's sobs became audible as he clung to Andrew, gripping the back of his shirt. He dug his head down into the crook of Andrew's neck.

Andrew rubbed Garrett's back comfortingly. "I promise you that you are," he murmured gently. "You are one of the most important people in my life, Garrett. And if you're not one of his, it's his loss."

Garrett whimpered in his ear. "Don't let go."

Andrew tightened his grip. "Never."

__

_'Cause wherever you are is home  
Home  
Wherever you are is home  
Home  
I miss you when I least expect it  
I miss the way you feel on my lips  
And I don't know when I'll see you again  
So won't you please come home  
Home  
Won't you please come home, home  
Home_

Of course, it was impossible to never let go, but Andrew knew he wouldn't release his best friend until Garrett was ready.

Many minutes passed before Garrett finally pulled away, his hands sliding slowly along Andrew's back and sides. He wiped at his face, embarrassed. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Andrew shook his head. "You have nothing to apologize for. You fell in love and it made you blind to what was right in front of you."

Garrett looked over Andrew for a moment, his lips twitching with a ghost of a smile that Andrew didn't quite understand given the situation.

Garrett shook his head a second later, erasing any hint of amusement. He let out a heavy sigh. "It's not love. I tell myself it is, but how could it be? I thought that he was perfect _enough_. That I could never do better than him. That I would be single forever if I let him go."

"Being single sounds preferable to being with this guy," Andrew quipped, pulling an amused snort from Garrett. "But of course you can do better. Any guy would be lucky to have you."

"Not any guy," Garrett muttered.

"Yes, any guy," Andrew repeated firmly.

"You?"

Andrew drew in a sharp breath. "What-?"

Garrett shook his head again and plopped down on his couch. "Nothing. I'm sorry."

Andrew gingerly sat down next to him. His thoughts were racing a mile a minute. What was Garrett implying? Should he finally bring up his feelings? Or was it not a good time? The man in front of him was having a relationship crisis right now; he had to be sensitive and careful with his words.

"Andrew, listen. I didn't mean-"

"I have to tell you. I have to. Otherwise it's just gonna keep on eating at me," Andrew blurted out. He was talking more to himself than Garrett. "I don't know if I _should_ , but I have to."

Garrett placed a tentative hand on Andrew's arm, bringing him back to him. "Tell me," he prompted gently.

Andrew stuttered out some noises; it took a few tries before he could finally let out something understandable. "I like you. No, of course I like you. I mean... I _like_ you. I love you. Love you? No, that's too strong. Right? I don't-. I don't know. I just know that...I feel at home when I'm with you. And maybe I'm drawing the wrong conclusions, but I feel like we belong together." Andrew inhaled shakily, questioning if he had said the wrong thing and what else he could add, if anything, to make it better. 

It took him a few seconds, but he managed to find the nerve to risk a glance at Garrett, who was being suspiciously quiet. Fresh tears were rolling down his cheeks. Andrew felt his throat close up. "Garr," he choked out. "I'm sorr-. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. You're in a relationship and-"

Garrett suddenly laughed, startling Andrew. "You think I'm staying with him _now_? Even before all this, I was going to end things. What you said the first time we talked when this happened, that he doesn't prioritize me? You're right. He doesn't. But you do." Garrett stared intently into Andrew's eyes.

Andrew felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw Garrett leaning in, hopeful uncertainty shining in his beautiful, wet eyes. Letting his eyelids flutter shut, he met Garrett's lips with his own. For a few seconds, flashbacks of their previous kiss flooded his mind, dissipating to the one they were currently sharing. It tasted so much sweeter.

As the kiss deepened, Andrew pulled Garrett closer. He needed to feel him, so he let his hands roam over Garrett's back and shoulders, trying to find that delicate balance between lust and love. They moaned together as their tongues danced around each other.

Andrew directed his mouth down, running his lips over the neck he had been so desperately craving these past few weeks. Garrett's low grunt encouraged him to apply more pressure, sucking on the tender skin. 

When he felt Garrett pushing him away, he let out a small whine. "Hold on, we can't do this," Garrett gasped out. Andrew felt his heart stop. Did Garrett not actually want him? God, how stupid could he be? Garrett must have realized he was already with his dream man and Andrew just couldn't compare. "I'm-I'm still technically seeing someone. I may be a ghoster, but I'm not a cheater."

Andrew forced a small small. "That's good to know."

"So before we continue this, I need to end things with him."

Andrew blinked up at Garrett. His heart began beating again. "You want to continue this." It was more of a statement than a question, but the wonder was still there.

Garrett took Andrew's face in his hands. "I do. I want this to continue and never end."

Andrew could have stayed there forever, their eyes locked. But he needed to feel Garrett pulled against him again sooner rather than later, so he gently removed Garrett's hands and lightly grazed them with his lips. "I'll be here waiting."

Garrett mouth split into a wide grin. "I'll be back."

"How long will you be?"

Garrett shook his head. "I don't know. I need to figure out where he is, but I'll find him. And as long as he takes it okay, it shouldn't take long."

"Well, go on then..." Andrew smiled up at Garrett, watching him bustle around the room hurriedly, getting his things together. "So you can come back to me."

"I always will." Garrett opened the front door and paused, his eyes softening. "I love you."

"I love you." Andrew watched the door for a while after it shut, his heart racing. He couldn't believe what had just happened. But he was so damn happy.

He was finally able to pull himself away from this state of bliss long enough to wash Garrett's bedding. He wouldn't stand having this other man's scent in their bed for one more night. 

Andrew had just finished remaking the bed when he heard keys in the door. He whipped toward it, his heart swelling with anticipation.

"I'm back!" Garrett called out cheerfully.

Andrew stood up eagerly, prepared to ask how it went. But before he could, Garrett stepped into his room and cupped Andrew's face in his hands. He pressed their lips together fervently. Andrew hummed with pleasure as he kissed back, with no uncertainty and no guilt this time.

When Garrett pulled away, he slid his arms around Andrew's waist, pulling them flush together. He nestled his head against Andrew's neck.

Andrew threaded a hand in Garrett's hair, caressing his back and shoulders lovingly with the other. "Welcome home."


End file.
